Twelve years ago I was struggling to find any peace, I wrote in my journal that it was a cold, lonely Christmas. I had just celebrated my first wedding anniversary with my husband deployed, I woke the following day to the news of a suicide bomber blowing himself up during lunch time at the base Scotty and his friends were at. Those few days before Christmas brought the news of Scotty’s company commander being killed in action that day, he was also the husband of a dear friend. But even through all the fear, loneliness and sadness; I was reminded of what the celebration of Christmas truly means and all the things Christ had done for me.
Reflecting on these things is what brought me true peace and hope at a time when my circumstances were not ideal.
Several years later, I reflect on that hard time and what it taught me. Today I find myself getting caught up in the busyness of the season; the to-do lists, finding the perfect gift for everyone, kid’s Christmas programs, holiday events, birthdays and yes, another wedding anniversary, all of which I’m incredibly grateful for. But all the busyness leaves me empty, it leaves me with no peace. Even though my circumstances are very different than they were 12 years ago, I still want something more. I want to feel HIS peace, but I must make room for it.
Twelve years ago I had no choice but to be on my knees praying for peace and comfort, and today, I need to be praying for the same thing.
I don’t want to be so busy that I miss Christ, that I miss the true reason for this season. I hear a voice calling me to give my whole heart; all my hurt, my pain and all my busyness to the one who brings true and lasting peace. So this Christmas season, I’m working to find the quiet moments to remind myself over and over again that He is the reason for our peace this season. It’s not the presents and parties, it is HIM, how quickly I get those out of order.
Once again on this cold December day, I’m thankful for Christ and what He has done for me, and that I can joyfully come into this season with true hope, a weary soul rejoicing.