Eleven years ago I sat on the couch in my parent’s living room with a permanently tear stained face and a heartache I’d never known, I was waiting to hear from a doctor in Balad, Iraq, to hear whether or not my husband was going to live, die, be the same, walk again or see. Those days felt like I was living life in slow motion, that car bomb might as well have blown up in my face as well, I struggled with fear, anxiety, loss and grief. I questioned God and wondered if he forgot about us or maybe He simply did not care. Through these struggles I have found great purpose and passion for our pain. My relationship with God has only become deeper as he has taught me to rely on HIM, not only for Scotty, but for me as well. He has given me a passion and a purpose far beyond my dreams. But it took me losing my life to gain it. It took me seeking, learning and growing to embrace my grief, because it never goes away, it will always be part of my story here on earth, but now I have accepted it vs fighting against it.
Well as I sit here this very moment, my healing comes full circle. Eleven years later I am sitting on the exact same couch in my parent’s living room listening to my healthy and thriving husband talk to the doctor who saved his life all those years ago. I still have tears rolling down my cheeks, but they are different, they are tears that have seen God’s sovereign hand upon not only Scotty’s life, but my life as well. I cry because this is full circle healing for me. I never wanted to read Scotty’s medical records from Iraq, because it hurt too much, it was too traumatic and it hurt to not to know who the doctors were that cared for him. I wanted to know that the doctors had emotions too, I wanted to know that they understood the sacrifice and pain, and now I do. I poured my heart and soul into the prayers for that doctor, and here before my eyes, he talks to Scotty sharing how he shed tears of his own and prayed earnestly for every soldier he cared for.
The doctor’s name is Dr. Lee Warren. On a recent speaking engagement we connected the dots that the surgeon who wrote the book, “No Place to Hide” could be the same doctor who saved Scotty! We went home and read the book and knew for certain it was him. This is nothing short of a miracle and a testament to God and how he can work our pain and hurt for his good, it’s’ not a cliche, it is the truth. We just have to accept it. We will get to meet Dr. W. Lee Warren soon and I know with confidence that God knew this all along.